Am I Barabbas?

Am I Barabbas?

Every year the youth of St Thomas Church, R K Puram, New Delhi enact the Passion, I have attended some of the practice sessions I have also watched the replay of last year’s recordings and some of the scenes on Youtube, I had a dream.  I was Barabbas.  Waking up in the morning I started ruminating about the dream and comparing myself with Barabbas and the two thieves who were crucified with Jesus.  Am I equally guilty?  I have had my list of failings like Barabbas.  I might not have been imprisoned but that does not prove my innocence.  Then perhaps I am indeed imprisoned.  Every sin imprisons, not necessarily behind the physical bars but it does limit our freedom.

2.       Despite this I wonder whether sin has its advantages.  Come to think of it, realization of sin makes us humble.  Sin in itself is not good; it is something which breaks our relationship with God.  But humility brings us closer.  When we are weak, perhaps God comes closer.  I remember the poster with one set of foot prints about God carrying us in times of trouble.  We human beings also behave in a similar manner.  A mother loves her weakest child a little bit more.    

3.       There are several diets prescribed by new and old organizations which promise to detox your body if followed strictly.  We have the strict juices regime for a day or a week.  These are delivered at your door step everyday in the morning fresh, cold pressed, extracted from different fruits and vegetables.  This can cost you anywhere between Rs. 1500 to Rs. 2000 per day.  There are fruit and vegetable diets.  We have several health resorts, spa, etc where you check in and follow a more regimental routine which includes special diet, yoga, and meditation.  The cost would be exponential.  Lent is a time for detoxifying the body and soul.

4.       The Church organizes detox sessions and it is free.  We had a three day retreat at the Parish during this lent.  It forces us to relax, think of our lives, recollect our sins, makes us humble and the confession cleanses us.  The Church also takes care of our body by advising fasting and abstinence during lent.  Many avoid non-veg food, alcohol, consciously avoid being bad tempered, skip a meal etc.  Two days i.e. Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are days of fasting and abstinence prescribed in the Church calendar. 

5.       I feel good towards the end of lent.  The feel good factor is more pronounced if I go for the detox, if I contemplate more on the passion of Christ and if I realize that Barabbas is none other but me.  If not Barabbas, do I see myself hanging next to Jesus?  If Jesus was condemned to death on the cross do I not deserve a harsher sentence?  Now the question is whether I am the one on the right or the left. Am I the one who pleaded with Jesus to remember him when Jesus reached His Kingdom? Though I’m not absolutely certain, I give myself the benefit of doubt and place myself at His ‘right’. 

6.       When can I realize that I am a sinner and, have the humility to accept it, and when will I get the courage to seek forgiveness as the thief on the cross at Calvary.  I hear the tender voice of the Saviour whispering, “today thou shall be with me in paradise”.  Both Barabbas and the thief on the cross were ‘saved’. 

Luke chapter 23

Vs:39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.

Vs:40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?

Vs:41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.

Vs:42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.

Vs:43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.