Am I Barabbas?
Every year the youth of St Thomas Church, R K Puram, New Delhi
enact the Passion, I have attended some of the practice sessions I have also
watched the replay of last year’s recordings and some of the scenes on Youtube,
I had a dream. I was Barabbas. Waking up in the morning I started ruminating
about the dream and comparing myself with Barabbas and the two thieves who were
crucified with Jesus. Am I equally guilty? I have had my list of failings like Barabbas. I might not have been imprisoned but that
does not prove my innocence. Then
perhaps I am indeed imprisoned. Every
sin imprisons, not necessarily behind the physical bars but it does limit our
freedom.
2. Despite this I wonder whether sin has its
advantages. Come to think of it,
realization of sin makes us humble. Sin
in itself is not good; it is something which breaks our relationship with
God. But humility brings us closer. When we are weak, perhaps God comes
closer. I remember the poster with one
set of foot prints about God carrying us in times of trouble. We human beings also behave in a similar
manner. A mother loves her weakest child
a little bit more.
3. There are several diets prescribed by new
and old organizations which promise to detox your body if followed
strictly. We have the strict juices
regime for a day or a week. These are
delivered at your door step everyday in the morning fresh, cold pressed,
extracted from different fruits and vegetables.
This can cost you anywhere between Rs. 1500 to Rs. 2000 per day. There are fruit and vegetable diets. We have several health resorts, spa, etc
where you check in and follow a more regimental routine which includes special
diet, yoga, and meditation. The cost
would be exponential. Lent is a time for
detoxifying the body and soul.
4. The Church organizes detox sessions and
it is free. We had a three day retreat at
the Parish during this lent. It forces
us to relax, think of our lives, recollect our sins, makes us humble and the
confession cleanses us. The Church also
takes care of our body by advising fasting and abstinence during lent. Many avoid non-veg food, alcohol, consciously
avoid being bad tempered, skip a meal etc.
Two days i.e. Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are days of fasting and
abstinence prescribed in the Church calendar.
5. I feel good towards the end of lent. The feel good factor is more pronounced if I
go for the detox, if I contemplate more on the passion of Christ and if I
realize that Barabbas is none other but me.
If not Barabbas, do I see myself hanging next to Jesus? If Jesus was condemned to death on the cross
do I not deserve a harsher sentence? Now
the question is whether I am the one on the right or the left. Am I the one who
pleaded with Jesus to remember him when Jesus reached His Kingdom? Though I’m
not absolutely certain, I give myself the benefit of doubt and place myself at
His ‘right’.
6. When can I realize that I am a sinner and,
have the humility to accept it, and when will I get the courage to seek
forgiveness as the thief on the cross at Calvary. I hear the tender voice of the Saviour whispering,
“today thou shall be with me in paradise”.
Both Barabbas and the thief on the cross were ‘saved’.
Luke
chapter 23
Vs:39 And one of the
malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save
thyself and us.
Vs:40 But the other
answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the
same condemnation?
Vs:41 And we indeed
justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done
nothing amiss.
Vs:42 And he said unto
Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
Vs:43 And Jesus said
unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.
